June 2010
1 post
No Sign Of The Dog (The Cable Guy Diary)
By way of tribute to my recently departed friend Stuart Cable. Here’s a repost of what happened when we met him and how a Cable guy saved our lives…
Stepping out of the enormous, blacked-out Chrysler, Stuart Cable’s opening gambit, gesticulating dismissively at the road-closed sign, is “Alright boys, sorry about all the fucking bollocks.” We’ve come up (or...
January 2010
1 post
"Wackiness"
I realised that my recent outpourings have been defensive pieces, taking something that other people dislike and telling you why I think otherwise; if you haven’t anything nice to say etc. Well this one isn’t like that. This is just something I despise. I have noticed that there are, especially around this time of year, many more “Wacky” people around. Unfortunately, Brighton seems to attract...
December 2009
3 posts
A Yule Blog
“Christmas, Ted. What does it mean to you? Do you know what it’s like to kicked in the head with a steel capped boot?.. No, of course you don’t, Ted, scratch that, it was a dumb question”- Airplane. A silly, funny quote but it does raise some issues that have been floating around the cinnamon-apple scented ether at the moment. I have spoken to at least three people in the last week who claim to...
The Withered Hand
In the village of Grumbly Bottom Stands a pub called The Withered Hand Its walls are all covered in Ivy So it looks like its part of the land. The door opens heavy and oaken And that sweet stale stench slaps the snout The bars so well stocked it’s appalling With its gauntlet, the onset of gout. There’s a dartboard set up in one corner Though the arrows don’t have any flights And the pool balls...
School
“I loved going to school. I loved coming home from school. It was just the bit in the middle I couldn’t stand.” This seems to be, more often than not, most people’s attitude to their formative, institutionalised years. There is so often that roll of the eyes accompanied by an almost exhausted yawn and “Oh God, I hated school”. Well, I’d like to state for the record that I did NOT hate school. I...
October 2009
1 post
Surprises
I have often berated, or at least tsssked at, people who say, “I don’t like surprises”. Why on earth not? Do you really not like surprises? How unutterably dull life would be without them. To constantly know what lies inside the wrapped box under the Christmas tree. To always know that the darkened room you’ve just been hastily shuffled into, of course, contains at least tens of your closest...
January 2009
2 posts
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