A Yule Blog
“Christmas, Ted. What does it mean to you? Do you know what it’s like to kicked in the head with a steel capped boot?.. No, of course you don’t, Ted, scratch that, it was a dumb question”- Airplane.
A silly, funny quote but it does raise some issues that have been floating around the cinnamon-apple scented ether at the moment.
I have spoken to at least three people in the last week who claim to abhor Christmas.
They hate the pressure to spend, the gluttony, the false hope, the heavy-handed marketing, the lack of any other colour than pink (for girls), the decorating, the guilt at not buying a Big Issue off of Santa-Claus, the Coca-Cola inspired colour scheme, the fluffy bras and saucy Mrs Claus image, the argument over Goose fat or Beef dripping for a perfect roast potato, the mulling of perfectly good wine, the sleazy mistletoe “goal hangers”, the tinsel, the groups of office party suits being inappropriate with members of the opposite sex because they don’t normally drink, the hike in prices, the waste of paper, the sheer smugness of people in massive caramel coloured cashmere overcoats who obviously haven’t been affected by the recession, the screaming children in shops, the brussel sprouts, the mince pies, the brandy butter, the chestnuts roasting and the men who wear top hats and waistcoats to roast them, the festive menus that are exactly the same just with the word “festive” stuck in front of everything, the constant praying for snow, the carols, the fact that suddenly everyone’s a Christian, It’s A Wonderful Life, the stocking fillers, the wrapped-up batteries and ALL THE FUCKING SATSUMAS.
Well, you can probably guess my reply.
Oh, get over it, it’s Christmas.
It’s chintzy, it’s gaudy, it’s expensive and occasionally horrid. It can be all of the above and more. It can also be magical and inexplicably nice smelling and sparkly. It can be as heart warming and as spinningly lovely as to defy description through anything as crude and simple as language.
All that mulling and bauble-ing, wrapping and glittering, giving and getting and eating and drinking may well be at the wrong time of year (if you’re actually trying to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ) and may well have turned into a callous, cynically marketed spending spree but it can also be terrifically good fun and as good an excuse as any to sit around and be silly with friends and/ or family which can only be a good thing, can’t it? Enjoy it for what it is, not what it isn’t!
With that in mind then I should like to wish everyone a very merry Christmas, a happy Channukkah and a thoroughly pleasant New Year. See you on the other side.
